Sunday’s Jokes 2022-09-11
Some say laughter is the best medicine, so, on Sundays, we post some jokes to hopefully brighten your day. – Editorial Team. Please note that Sunday’s jokes is no longer archived and is updated every week.
What did Mr. Spock find in the toilet?
The Captain's log.
TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
Mother: What seems to be the problem with you? You have been married three
years and still no children. I had hopes of being a grandmother by now.
Daughter: I just don't know, Mom! Billy tries all the time, it's just that
I have a lot of trouble swallowing.
Way down in the deep south, in an area known as the 'Bible Belt,' there lived a Baptist minister with a very large congregation. One morning, after a particularly moving sermon, he announced, "Friends I have been hearing very nasty rumors!" The crowd fell into an expectant silence. The Minister continued, "One of you, here among us, has been reporting that I am a member of the dreaded 'Klu Klux Klan.' This, of course, is not true! I am asking that the guilty party confess and apologize now - right here - before my flock of loyal followers." A young woman quickly stood up blushing and trembling and pled, "Preacher, please, I don't know how this all came to be. I just mentioned to one of my close friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."
TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your math multiplication On the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!
"I'm finished with Judi!" Jon exclaimed to his friend. "She broke
down and told me she was bisexual. Who the hell wants to
screw just twice a year???"
A man was interviewing for a sales representative. One candidate would
have been ideal for the position except that he had a disconcerting
mannerism. He kept winking.
"Look here, I'd like to give you the job, you've got good references
and experience. The trouble is this trick you've got of winking all the
time, it might put our customers off."
"No worries." the candidate replied. "All I've got to do to get rid of
it is to take a couple of aspirins."
So saying he began emptying his pockets. The employer was startled to
see dozens of condoms, multi coloured ones, ribbed ones, heavy duty
varieties and every known brand of standard condom.
"Here we are." said the rep. He swallowed two aspirins and his winking
stopped at once.
"Thats all very well but we couldn't hire a man who was going to be
womanising all over his territory."
"Oh I wouldn't dream of it, I'm happily married."
"Then how do you account for all of these things?"
"Simple, did you ever go into a pharmacy winking all the time and ask for
a packet of aspirins?"
TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile?"
JOHN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
JOHN: Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
Source: Jokes2Go