Sunday’s Jokes 2022-11-13
Some say laughter is the best medicine, so, on Sundays, we post some jokes to hopefully brighten your day. – Editorial Team. Please note that Sunday’s jokes is no longer archived and is updated every week.
I can't help but wonder sometimes though why lovemaking is almost
always referred to in theatrical terms. For example, surely you've
heard men refer to their "performance". Well, even these days I don't
have a lot of trouble with that.
But... since I'm now past fifty, the "encores" are getting tuffer and
tuffer.
A secretary, who works in an office with my daughter's friend,
Commented at lunch that it was such a shame that the spice
girls couldn't stay together considering they are sisters and all.
There was silence for a bit, then someone told her that they
weren't sisters. She said, " Of course they are, they have the
same last name." She Has unofficially been named "Dumb
Spice"
Dictionary of Musical Terms
JAZZ : Five men on the same stage all playing different tunes.
BLUES : Played exclusively by people who woke up this morning.
WORLD MUSIC : A dozen different types of percussion all going at once.
OPERA : People singing when they should be talking.
RAP : People talking when they should be singing.
CLASSICAL : Discover the other 45 minutes they left out of the TV ad.
FOLK : Endless songs about shipwrecks in the 19th century.
BIG BAND : 20 men who take it in turns to stand up plus a drummer.
HEAVY METAL : Codpiece and chaps
HOUSE MUSIC : OK as long as it's not the house next door.
A drummer, tired of being ridiculed by his peers, decides to learn how
to play some "real" musical instruments. He goes to a music store,
walks in, approaches the store clerk, and says "I'll take that red trumpet over
there and that accordion." The store clerk looks at him a bit funny,
and replies "OK, you can have the fire extinguisher but the radiator's got
to stay".
A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of
a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he
starts searching for the source.
He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a
grave with a headstone that reads: Ludwig van Beethoven,
1770-1827. Then he realizes that the music is the Ninth
Symphony and it is being played backward! Puzzled, he
leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with
him.
By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has
changed. This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the
previous piece, it is being played backward.
Curious, the men agree to consult a music scholar. When
they return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing,
again backward. The expert notices that the symphonies are
being played in the reverse order in which they were
composed, the 9th, then the 7th, then the 5th.
By the next day the word has spread and a throng has
gathered around the grave. They are all listening to the
Second Symphony being played backward.
Just then the graveyard's caretaker ambles up to the group.
Someone in the crowd asks him if he has an explanation for
the music.
"Oh, it's nothing to worry about" says the caretaker. "He's
just decomposing!"
So the new conductor addresses the orchestra. He tells them that
things are going to change, that everyone will be expected to be
on time and that they will work for many long hours. The timpanist,
expressing his displeasure at the turn of events, belts out on the
drums BOOM-BOOM- BOOM-BOOM. The conductor, whirling around
furiously, says, "Alright, who did that?!"
Source: Jokes2Go